19 June, 2025
“I struggle to enjoy my free time. I feel like I am not able to relax during my holidays, or I don’t know what to do with that time.”
Using holidays to reconnect with desire means stepping out of autopilotand asking yourself again:
- What do I truly enjoy?
- What excites or inspires me?
- What do I need beyond what’s urgent?
To reconnect with yourself and your desires:
Slow down
Disconnecting from work or daily demands is not a luxury, but a necessary condition to hear your true desires. Desire does not shout, it whispers. You need silence to hear it.
Listen to what moves you
Make a free list:
- Things that make you feel alive.
- Places that call to you.
- Activities you always put off.
Don’t think about “usefulness”. Think about pleasure, curiosity, authenticity.
Make room for creativity and play
Desire often expresses itself through play, creation and exploration. It might be writing, drawing, dancing, wandering, building something with your hands… whatever sparks something inside.
Observe without judgment
You may discover that you no longer desire the same things as before. That’s okay. Change is also a way to be true to yourself.
Ask yourself, “What do I want for myself?”
Not for others. Not what they expect from you. What do you desire that includes you, respects you or excites you?
In the meantime, write
Writing can help you sort through what you’re feeling. You don’t have to do it “right.” Just let whatever comes out flow. You can start with:
- “I feel…”
- “I struggle with…”
- “I need…”
Would going to therapy help me learn to enjoy my vacations?
Yes, absolutely. Therapy can be very helpful if you feel like you can’t enjoy your vacation or if you want to learn how to enjoy it more fully. You don’t need to hit “rock bottom” to go to therapy; it’s also for living better, more in touch with yourself.
Why can therapy help in this case?
- Explore why it’s hard for you to enjoy yourself.
Sometimes we carry guilt, demands, or habits that disconnect us from pleasure and rest. Therapy can help you identify those internal voices that sabotage you. - Reconnect with desire and pleasure.
As mentioned before: reconnect with desire. A therapeutic space can help you identify what you enjoy, what feels good, what moves you… and how to give yourself permission to experience it. - Learn to let go of control.
Many people can’t relax because they feel they always have to be “productive” or “making the most of their time.” Therapy can help with that. - Make space for yourself.
Sometimes it’s hard to enjoy ourselves because we never learned how to prioritize ourselves without guilt. Therapy is also about practicing that: putting yourself at the center of your life, even if it’s just for an hour a week.
Happy holidays!!
English 
German